Guy's Romantic Life Read online

  ***

  While Carpenter studied the club like a window shopper looking for an affordable purchase, his playful grin kept fuelling my wayward fantasies. But at this stage we’d had more to drink than a misled teenager.

  Joshua had disappointed me with his stinky attitude, and even though this gay discothèque had more spirited contenders than a dating website, I was curious about the man who wasn’t interested in me, yet.

  “So, Carpenter, do you see anyone you like?” I asked.

  I had a smile wider than a sumo wrestler, which I couldn’t control. Joshua turned the other way.

  “I like that older dude with the full head of hair. He has that ‘wise intellectual’ look.” He fluttered his eyebrows. My grin disappeared. “Good sex and great conversation before more good sex.”

  “I like the funky nerd on the dance floor,” said Joshua.

  “Why don’t you go and talk to him?” I asked.

  He opened his mouth as if he was about to reply, but not a sound came out. I felt odd.

  “Yeah, Joshua, go and dance with him,” said Carpenter. “Mine looks like he doesn’t want to be disturbed. That girl chatting with him must be a friend.”

  “Can I change the subject?” asked my fellow angel.

  “We’re talking about men. What other subject is there?”

  “Oh, my topic is also about men. But it’s about lost causes.”

  “Sounds serious,” I said.

  “I’m not trying to be morbid, but there’s something…” His eyes darted to the dance floor. “Carpenter, your future conquest is busting a move.”

  “It can wait, Joshua. You’ve got something on your mind.”

  The one night contender had an angular way of dancing. Every beat was matched with a hieroglyphic stance. His female companion glided around him like a seasoned matador, adding grace to her partner’s awkward steps.

  “Go on, he’s on the floor,” Joshua said.

  “He looks like the Tin Man on Ecstasy. No, you need to get something off your chest. What is it?”

  “Dalton.”

  “Who’s Dalton?”

  “His last boyfriend,” I replied. “It sounds like the time has come for deep and meaningful conversation. Shoot.”

  “I, um, don’t get what went wrong.”

  “What did he do?” asked Carpenter.

  “He said I’m too self-centred.”

  I bit my tongue.

  “You? Never!”

  “Joshua, what did you give of yourself?” I asked.

  “I lived up to his expectations.”

  “But what did you give of yourself?”

  “I did everything he asked.”

  “But what did you give of yourself?”

  There was no answer.

  “This Dalton guy never smashed your fortress,” said Carpenter. He gazed into space. “Wow! That almost sounds sexual.”

  “So what were you afraid of?” I asked. Again, no answer.

  “Guy, it sounds like our friend feels he needs to hide, even with those he loves.”

  “Yeah, now why is that?” I replied.

  “Doesn’t feel worthy, maybe?”

  “Worried he might put his foot in his mouth?”

  “Joshua, this wasn’t just an obsession, was it?”

  “No, of course not. He was the spark of every social occasion we were at. His charisma walked three steps ahead of him.”

  “Yeah, I get it,” Carpenter answered. “His eyes shone so bright he could lead ships into port. Sounds like an obsession to me.”

  “Why do you think I was obsessed?”

  “Listen to yourself,” I replied. “We’ve heard nothing about this man except for his physical attributes.

  Was he kind hearted? Did he have a sense of humour? What was his favourite colour? Did you really know anything about him?”

  “I knew I loved him.”

  “Ahem, loved him or needed him?”

  A shiver ran up my spine on my last word, causing my wings to flutter three times.

  “You’re getting straight to the point, Guy,” said Carpenter.

  “I’m too drunk to weave around the issue.”

  “To weave around Joshua’s issues or yours?”

  I looked at him like he was refrigerated food that had passed its use by date.

  “I don’t talk,” announced the jilted one.

  “Oh you talk,” I replied. “You just don’t communicate. And it sounds like Dalton felt lonely.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “Well if you knew, man, why didn’t you…?” I held up my hand to stop Carpenter speaking.

  “Because I needed to hear from someone else what I already knew.”

  “But Joshua,” I said, “they’re the conversations you have with your partner.” I looked into the crowd.

  “Or they’re the conversations you have with your friends while you’re still with your partner.”

  That older man seemed to loosen up. His gal pal writhed up and down him like a snake, while he played as straight as he humanly could.

  “I’m starting to think I might be in with a chance,” Carpenter noted.

  “You’re going to leave this discussion?” I asked.

  “Guy, I think this is the discussion where I’m the forgettable co-star.” Joshua and I exchanged glances.

  “Oh don’t look so weird. There’s chemistry between you, and from what you told me about your history, you both have a lot of catching up to do.” He regarded the gent as if regarding Lois Lane in need of saving. “Now, I can entertain myself, and you two, well you two should entertain each other.”

  He winked. My jaw dropped. I didn’t look at Joshua. Carpenter headed for the dance floor.

  “Well there’s an unexpected twist,” my fellow angel said.

  I watched our friend make his way toward his prize as my damned wings fluttered again.

  “Carpenter’s right,” said Joshua.

  “Hmm.” Now I wished I returned home earlier.

  “Hey, my long lost friend, haven’t you got anything better to say?”

  “I’m still dealing with his home truth.”

  Carpenter sidled up to the man, twisting his body in improvised sixties’ dance steps. His potential lover did some odd shoe shuffle before making his own groovy arm moves. Sadly he still lacked finesse. His female friend left them alone.

  “Guy, you pinned me in one. I don’t communicate well. Please listen. I’ve got a lot to say, so can you at least stop gazing at the dance floor.”

  I sipped my cocktail before meeting his eyes.

  “Josh, maybe this night is more confronting for both of us than we’d like to admit to? Let’s call it a night.”

  He slammed his hand on the table.

  “That has to be a reason to stay.” My head tilted back. “Come on, we were good friends once.”

  “Once, but that was a long time ago. You disappeared and left me longing.”

  “Really? You were longing?” I stood, but Joshua grabbed my arm. “If it helps, Guy, let me do the talking. Let me pour my heart out while you just listen. You don’t need to say a word.”

  The scene was joyous around us, but all I could see were shadows. The music just thumped, without melody or reason. The lyrics blurred into some uncontained mess. The patrons, distant, even as they swung close.

  I sat for serenity. Walking through the crowd would only make me feel alone, so I sat, staring at my drink.

  “I get that you don’t want to look at me, Guy, but thanks for hearing me out.” He guzzled his cocktail.

  “I couldn’t face my teenage crush when we were young, so I left. I’m sorry it was soon after trying to teach you to fly, but your lack of self-belief was the perfect cue for my exit.” I gulped. “But you showed promise. If I stayed I would have ended up teaching you to soar. And we would have soared, together. But I didn’t think I was good enough for you.”

  My superhero was unmasked. I looked up.

  “J
osh, you of all people? I, er, I…”

  “I can’t remember you ever being speechless.”

  “Maybe it’s because you said something I needed to hear. I thought you thought I was a loser back then.”

  “Then why would I ask you on this date?”

  “Oh my…”

  “Guy, you really are speechless.”

  I nodded briskly.

  “Joshua, imagine you’re the kid who never knew his parents, and finally you work it out. You realise that the woman raising you couldn’t be related because she wasn’t an angel. Then you hate yourself. You hate yourself because from day one, someone left you behind.” My wings fluttered violently but I firmed my muscles to keep them still. “Then you left me behind at a time I really felt like I was worth something to someone.”

  My fellow angel peered at Carpenter.

  “Look at us, Guy. We’re a couple of losers.”

  I, too, looked to the dancing crowd. Carpenter was jiving close to his lover for the night.

  “No, Josh, we were just young and stupid.”

  My date lifted his glass, even though its contents were melted ice.

  “Here’s to being young and stupid.”

  I clinked my glass with his.

  “No, here’s to being older and wiser.”

  We both swigged, Joshua swallowing the icy remains.

  “So what do we do now?”

  I studied our former companion writhing with his one-nighter in drunken bliss. Their groins pressed together like pages in a book. The gay first step, complete.

  “Let’s dance.”

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  Dear Reader,

  Thank you for downloading and reading this short story. The character Guy was first brought to life as the insecure angel in my first novel Drama Queens with Love Scenes.

  Although he’s not the main character, he’s the one most talked about by bloggers and critics, so I thought I’d fill in a bit of back story before he appears in the sequel.

  Below is a short excerpt featuring Guy from my first novel. In Drama Queens with Love Scenes the first person narrative is told from the point of view of Allan, a young man who ends up in the Afterlife with his best friend, Warwick.

  Neither of them remember how they died, and as their hereafter adventures begin, we find that Allan has had a crush on Warwick for over a year. But Warwick falls for cock-sure playwright, Pedro, leaving Allan to pine for his lost love.

  In the scene below, Guy and Allan have been drinking again, and Guy decides that Allan has to deal with his unrequited love once and for all.

  Enjoy,

  Kevin Klehr

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  “Allan, what’s the one thing you need to say to Warwick?”

  “I just need to tell him that I love him.”

  “He knows that, Allan. Think harder.”

  Guy was still dragging me along the streets of The Limelight Quarter. The crisp night air was reviving my spirits, albeit through my drunken stupor. Many colorful folk whisked past, some briefly staring at us as they made their way.

  “You realize Pedro will be there,” I said.

  “That’s why we’re going to call Warwick to come downstairs. You need to talk privately.”

  We arrived outside of their balcony. I rubbed my arms to keep warm as Guy placed his hand on my shoulder.

  “Warwick!” I yelled. “Are you there?”

  There was no answer. A couple adorned in bohemian black, stopped in their tracks the moment I shouted to my ex-lover.

  “Broken heart,” whispered Guy to the interested onlookers.

  “I understand,” replied the woman. She looked up to her man. “Poor thing.”

  “Go on, Allan, call out again.”

  “Warwick! Warwick! I love you.” My voice echoed from the building as I looked to my angel friend. He nodded and caressed my shoulder. The couple nodded as well. “Warwick, are you home? I need to talk to you. Will you come down, please?”

  “Keep going, Allan.”

  “I really need to talk to you. I have so much more to say to you. I should never have let you walk out of my door the other night. I’ve wanted to talk to you so many times during the last few days, but there’s nowhere private at the theater. Plus I’d probably break down which is not a good look when you’re wearing white grease paint.”

  A few onlookers came out from their balconies. I glanced at Guy who was joined by a small audience. Some parents had let their kids stay up well after bedtime, and their freckled little girl was giggling at me. Her mother shushed her so she sat on the ground, sulking.

  “Don’t worry about it, Allan. Just go on.”

  “Yes, we’re right behind you,” said an elderly lady with bad teeth. “You make him listen.”

  “Warwick, I love you and I know you love me. You told me so. You said you’ve been waiting all year for me to make a move, and as you know I’ve been waiting for you to make that move too.”

  “You tell him, love!” interrupted the old woman.

  My support team began to chant Warwick’s name. I was empowered. I encouraged them to clap their hands in time. They did. There was about ten of them now, and their support gave me a warm glow in that frosty breeze.

  However, Guy looked worried.

  READ MORE OF GUY’S ADVENTURES IN THE NOVEL ‘Drama Queens with Love Scenes’ and its sequel, ‘Drama Queens and Adult Themes’ BY KEVIN KLEHR, released through Wilde City Press.

  FEEL FREE TO SHARE THIS SHORT STORY WITH YOUR FRIENDS